another auld lang syne

Before I pop the cork and gobble a slice of food for the gods or cover my ears but look up to the midnight sky for the new year fireworks and revelry, here are my top five resolutions for the new year:

01. Get back into a smaller shape through a low carb diet, dancing sessions in the gym, weights sessions in the gym, boxing, jogging, badminton, yoga, mental power, whatever it takes.

02. Learn how to drive - even just an automatic car. And of course, park it, drive it in reverse, keep it in a safe distance from the silly driver at the front and at the back, and match its seat covers and throw pillows inside.

03. Finish ultimately my masters in business administration and take up a new course right after summer - professional education, literature, law, corporate governance, guitar, anything.

04. Start listening and focus. To the things my daughters say when they raise a fit on what clothes to wear, to everyone older than me when they have unsolicited advice to give, to credit card telemarketers when they remind me about deadlines, not new products.

05. Be kind to myself and take care of myself. Do not fall again for empty promises that goad you to work like a horse but ends up to nothing, false self-worth through overtimes that stretch into dawn, and interesting arguments or clever one liners. Handle my heart with care and acknowledge that the greatest love of all is found deep within me.

the five places a girl loves

Each girl has one of those sometimes. Bad-hair day. Your-giant-zit-defines-you day. You-are-not-getting-enough-loving day. Too-tired-to-make-a-difference day.

Aahh! From out of the doldrums, your energy has suddenly taken a sharp turn and it leads you somewhere. Might as well. The better to enjoy and rationalize your visits to these five places, my dear.

And today is the day!

THE BOUTIQUE.. Will anyone please tell me who brought these bubble dresses into the racks? Or the ones that start at your neck and falls down to nowhere? And whoever among the grownup girls believed that they'd look good on these unless they weigh 90 pounds? Well I've tried on a rich orange red and a dark black - is there any darker than black - and though the design and work in the crimson number was marvelous, I could not invest on something that can only be worn in December for the fear of being the walking stop sign throughout the year. Lesson from me: When in doubt, settle for black.

THE SALON.. Popular refuge and admittedly a major destination that you'd need to make a phone call and set an appointment to make sure that you are lined up and will be served by your own beauty technician. French tips for my nails are always a winner with me. Lifting my left leg for my foot spa, I wondered when did we ever turned a cleaning act into a social activity for other people to see? And I need my regular leg shave too! Lesson from them: When you prefer open-toed and strappy sandals instead of closed pumps, petroleum jelly works wonders for those peds.

THE SPA.. Armed with the key to my locker for the day, I stepped into the Havaianas flip flops courtesy of the center and slipped into nothing else. A five minute shower and a sauna as long as it takes the hour glass to be filled with sand. A time to indulge the back with a good deal of warmth, a sauna stay also kinda gives you the taste of hell it's creepy. But the Swedish massage was heaven. Aside from the physical relief, there must be a psychological effect from this thing. Well from someone who loves back rubs for a good night's sleep, I should know. Lesson from me: Wear that thong during a massage session. Makes the whole exercise easier.

THE SKIN CLINIC.. Dermatologists amaze me. Are they doctors or are they skin-deep beauty endorsers? Limiting my visits to the skin clinic to those stinging little shots whenever I have a giant pimple, this time I came for a facial. I think trust plays a major part here, you know. You are in this bed away from your great weapon the cellular phone and someone hiding her face behind a mask pokes and touches your face. But hey you asked for it! Lesson from them: No matter how busy the work schedule is, always take your 8-hour sleep every night.

THE HIP RESTAURANT.. All right, I admit that nothing beats the stand offering cotton candy of different flavors and colors - and that I had two servings today too despite my yet unfinished medication for tonsilitis. But it is only right to cap this day with a visit to the food strip and pick a shop that promises the most to my palate. As I am not an espresso girl, the choice was easily made. So spinach pizza and watermelon shake it was - with strawberry cheesecake on the side. Lesson from me: Shark's fin dumplings dipped in soy sauce before those wouldn't hurt a bit!

If there's a better way to end the old year and welcome the new, tell me and I'll sit up and listen.

greetings this holiday season

I choose these last few days of the year to reach you and send you my greetings for the holiday season. For at this time I am sure I shall not be disrupting your many days filled with a frenetic schedule and a kaleidoscope of colors.

2007 has been a real gift - full of surprises and opportunities for us to learn and grow and see beyond what we have… and to be what we wanted to be. Everything we touched and created brought in changes - new alliances, new harmonies, new definitions to things and events that we both worked for or just watched to happen. As we stand at the end of this year, we see ourselves and the world a little differently.

Indeed, we face an unfolding scene of changes. May 2008 provide us the chance for the metamorphosis we are looking for in our lives - if we so want it - and only if we claim it for ourselves.

I hope your Christmas was truly meaningful and your new year will be a fabulous one.

and then there was a star

The light piercing the darkness.

We have this total fascination with light. It's like, as darkness precedes it - nothing happens until there is light.

In my residential area, after a silent and tense power interruption, you can just hear the combined screams of relief and the released laughter when the lights would turn on at each of the houses.

Illumination, though how practical and functional it was intended to be, is even taken to the realm of the romantic and the dreamy. For who would pass off a chance to dine and watch the face of another by candlelight?

And that is why Christmas is such a great season. It's the chance to deck the rooms and even the front yard with those tiny lights. I don't know why, but those rows and rows of clear gold little beams really fascinate me. My green Christmas tree is adorned by eight hundred pieces of those sweet small pins glowing in the dim corner with all the tinsel and the red flowers.

The firecrackers have been ordered for December 31. To signal the end of the holidays and the start of the new year, there is almost a quasi-vow to welcome each year with the fantastic display of fire works in the midnight skies.

Yet all these are just a salute to that event that happened more than two thousand years ago. When a people were waiting for a Savior.. and when His coming was announced by a star. I believe that people know the meaning of all the ruckus that happens at Christmas time. That no matter how the righteous would condemn the commercialization and objectification of the Nativity - people really know that as one takes the effort in hanging that lantern, or untangling those strings of lights, he is making his statement for that star which shone for the Child King.

It started at the beginning. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good..

parenting on center stage

It was a long wait before the competition started. Long enough to plant the seeds of fear - not in the children that were wearing their numbers on their formal dresses - but in each of the parents who gathered to wait.

St. Mary's School had organized this search for singing talents and the whole grade school sent in their nominees. Nika was to sing among them and the whole family sat in front of the stage, ready to watch her.

Children were scattered all over the school court, whispering to each other their bets. And the contestants were all huddled at the back of the stage, running around, watching those on deck or just plain chatting.

But you got to hand it to the parents.

A boy walked in the stage. A mother scuffled in the first row of the seats. She was unrolling a cartolina paper and written upon it were the lyrics of the song that her son would sing. I thought she was at a loss what to do first - to take photos or to hold up that piece of paper. But the lights were out and the audience area was dimmed in order to give focus to the performer on stage. I wished with all my heart that the boy saw the words.. and prayed that he would remember all his lyrics so he would not have to refer to the copy.

A girl in full makeup was ready to sing. But her recorded musical accompaniment would not work. Then music suddenly played.. but it was obviously the wrong one because the young girl fidgeted. A man suddenly stood up from the front seats and went to the musical director's area to instruct the technician on the correct music. It was finally on and the man faced his daughter, giving her the thumbs up and putting his hands together all the while she was singing.

A little girl in full costume came. She was so much into the song, feeling it with the all the emotions and making her matching gestures. And she was gazing straight to just one person in the audience. I followed her eyes and saw her mother. The woman was alternately waving her arms and placing her hands to her chest. She was mouthing the words to the song for her daughter and those sitting near her were staring at her, short of being amazed.

I smiled. And worried on my own in silence. The contestants before Nika were good and I decided for us to leave after she will deliver her song. You know, spare her the disappointment when she would not make it. It was eight o'clock in the evening anyway and we were hungry too. I took a good look at the trophies. Then I promised to buy a bigger and better one and give it to Nika - for her courage to join this competition, if for nothing else.

She sang and I was so sure I was not breathing the whole time she did. Picture of pure naivety and inexperience, she just sang it simply like the way she would at home.. while touching her gown at moments, in the same manner she would lovingly stroke her plush toy giraffe when she goes to sleep.

After her song and as we were getting ready to leave for dinner, she asked me effortlessly: "But Mom, how can I get my trophy if we leave now?"

How to answer a question like that? I just smiled at her and gave her a big hug. Told her she was the best for me, but for her not to expect too much, and if she indeed wins, she could always get the trophy the next day she reports to school.

After a dinner of prime steak, and as I was getting ready for bed at home, a message came through my cellular phone. It was a note of congratulations from one of the teachers - Nika won second place!

Mike and I looked up the girl and saw that she was already sleeping. As this set of parents could finally rest for the night with a smile and a sigh.. and there's no more need for me to order that personal trophy, Nika moved and reached for her toy giraffe. The sleep of the innocent. And the winner.

is this your name?

HEIDI MENDOZA

Forename: Origin: German (Root: Adelaide) Meaning: Noble One

Surname: Origin: (Basque) habitational (locality) name from several places in the provinces of Arava and Biscay called Mendoza, named with Basque mendi ?mountain? + otz ?cold? + the definite article -a.

50% of the letters are vowels. Of one million first and last names we looked at, 2.2% have a higher vowel make-up. This means you are extremely well envoweled.

Backwards, it is Idieh Azodnem... nice ring to it, huh?

In Pig Latin, it is Eidihay Endozamay.

In ASCII binary it is... 01001000 01100101 01101001 01100100 01101001 00100000 01001101 01100101 01101110 01100100 01101111 01111010 01100001

Your personal power animal is the Honey Badger

Your 'Numerology' number is 5. If it wasn't bulls**t, it would mean that you are adventurous, mercurial, and sensual. You seek growth through adventure and different life experiences. Although you are a critical thinker, you can sometimes over-ponder an issue.

People with this first name are probably: Female. So, you are constantly overcharged for beauty products.

According to the US Census Bureau, 0.088% of US residents have the first name 'Heidi' and 0.043% have the surname 'Mendoza'. The US has around 300 million residents, so we guesstimate there are 114 'Heidi Mendoza's (in the US, that is).

CHECK YOUR OWN NAME HERE

from both sides of the fridge

The other night before going to sleep, I found this folded note on the bed:

"Dear Mommy, I am sorry for not getting the singing competition. But I will do better next time I promise. Gela"

I smiled, folded it back and planned to store it somewhere. Now I remember the right spot for it.

Well, I like to think we are a regular family. And like a regular family, there is a different kind of altar-bulletin-control board that we keep. It is in a very strategic location, since it is where everyone converges when hungry. Yes, like any other mobile and active household, we adore the refrigerator. More specifically, its walls.

To hold current unpaid bills, personal reminders, perfect quiz scores (those less than that just end up posted in notebooks), school schedules, subdivision notices - the fridge walls can also display art works, original comic strips, juvenile literary attempts and love letters. Can you imagine the challenge to those little magnets?

"Happy B-day Mommy. I love you. I wish you can have fun. Love, Nika"

"My Day. My day was great. It was hard and the Civics long quiz was so easy I mean very easy. And now I will have tutor at the end of class I mean after the last subject. See you."

"To Mom and Dad. Hi guys. How are you? I am fine. Hope you are having fun. Hope you like this letter. Do you like it? Thanks for your love to me. Thanks for enrolling me in Saint Mary's School. Love you. From Nika"

"Don't go please. I will miss you Mommy. Why do you have to go?"

"I miss you Mommy"

"From Nika to Dady. I love you."

"To Mom. Welcome home Mom. Welcome back Ma. I missed you all morning. Please promise to leave a note when you go next time okay. Love ya all day. See ya later alligater. I hope you will like this letter. Love ya with all my heart. See ya. From Annika."

"Dear Dad and Mom. Thank you for being good to me and for caring for me. Thank you for supporting me in my assignments and for loving me. Your daughter, Angela"

Inside those refrigerator walls is food. The pretzels in the bag. The eggs for a hasty breakfast on a lazy Saturday. The red wine to calm a night's flighty nerves. The sweet ham, the peanut butter, the apples.

Yet outside is another kind of fare that feeds the heart. And without the worry of unwanted calories, it fills you. It fills you to the brim.. then it overflows.

how creative are you?

TAKE QUICK IMAGE QUIZ HERE

the half of a pair

It's the month of December and my only brother is getting married within the week. Yes, it's December again and the time to celebrate my wedding anniversary as well. Whew marriage!

Being married for me does not indicate being bound. Rather, it is the string that holds me strongly when my kite reaches and flies for the sky. It is the anchor, and the comfort after an MBA school night's ride from the rain.

But being married is taking your role as a half of a pair. Simply put, it means sharing spaces.

It is his blue towel and my white towel side by side in the rack.

It is his sandalwood and my white musk bars together in the soap dish.

It is his two blue big pillows in the left side of the bed and my two white big pillows in the right.

It is his golf bag parked below my badminton bag near the main door.

It is his Polo Ralph Lauren Blue and my Bulgari Omnia Crystalline both forgotten in the bedside table.

It is his khaki pair of Crocs tumbled along with my 18 good pairs of sandals.

It is his "The Temple and the Lodge" and "Recon Marines in Vietnam" paperbacks gathering dust beside my "Atlas Shrugged" and "The First Wives Club".

Being married is my small-sized pink gym shirt inside the hamper, and his large-sized t-shirt on the floor tiles, just a few inches short of landing in that same hamper.

Being married is staying together under the same roof while facing different laptop screens. And it means him taking trips to Duka Bay for a branch visitation or me flying to Manila for a project proposal writing workshop - and for the half of the pair who is left, to realize that seeing only one toothbrush in that cup, and the surprising space in the master's bathroom sink, just does not feel right. Nor enough.

It is that warm thought of being a part of someone else. A saved reminder tucked somewhere inside you.