as high techy as it gets

The Manila lady guests were flown in and back. We met the target 200 pax. The wifi connection was superb. Honey was giddy. The 2nd Mindanao Tertiary Schools ICT Quiz Show was launched. We discussed the Mindanao ICT Network. The DEKA Awards became clear to me. I met dear old friends. Jaime Garchitorena stole the show. I learned that pen computers now exist. We went home pleased.

It has been a good day. And the 2nd ICT Biz Summit is done. With the coming of the night is also the sigh of relief.

But the following hardware technology jargon list is another story:

NEW
Different color from previous design

ALL NEW
Parts not interchangeable with previous design

EXCLUSIVE
Imported product

UNMATCHED
Almost as good as the competition

DESIGNED SIMPLICITY
Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone

FOOLPROOF OPERATION
No provision for adjustments

ADVANCED DESIGN
The advertising agency doesn't understand it

IT'S HERE AT LAST!
Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming

FIELD-TESTED
Manufacturer lacks test equipment

HIGH ACCURACY
Unit on which all parts fit

DIRECT SALES ONLY
Factory had big argument with distributor

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
We finally got one that works

REVOLUTIONARY
It's different from our competitors

BREAKTHROUGH
We finally figured out a way to sell it

FUTURISTIC
No other reason why it looks the way it does

DISTINCTIVE
A different shape and color than the others

MAINTENANCE-FREE
Impossible to fix

RE-DESIGNED
Previous faults corrected, we hope...

HAND-CRAFTED
Assembly machines operated without gloves

PERFORMANCE PROVEN
Will operate through the warranty period

MEETS ALL STANDARDS
Ours, not yours

ALL SOLID-STATE
Heavy as Hell!

BROADCAST QUALITY
Gives a picture and produces noise

HIGH RELIABILITY
We made it work long enough to ship it

NEW GENERATION
Old design failed, maybe this one will work

UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE
Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way

BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES
We finally got it to fit together

MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED
Does things we can't explain

AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGY
One of our techs was laid off by Boeing

After the past five frenetic days, I really deserve my sleep.