are you gonna go my way

I even had second thoughts on going to Marco Hotel. And it took me a little self-convincing to take it slow today and yes, we all deserve a break. Broken is what my back soon will be, if I would not watch it. Work is such a fake high. Quite a not so late revelation, thank you.

We went straight to the pool by the end of the hotel grounds. Nong Pio brought the big bag as I settled down under the big umbrella. A waiter was hovering, waiting for my orders. The girls were out of their robes, had taken a quick shower, and jumped into the pool in just five seconds record. Annika, a girl who used to study in Abba’s Orchard, had joined them. Her grandmother, the former regional director of the Department of Tourism was out on the lawn, under her own big umbrella, reading a novel.

I ordered food - the kind of breakfast for people who are not in a hurry and who are not necessarily hungry. A big bowl of fresh fruits. Cold and hot chocolate drinks. Chips and dip. Club house sandwich.

Another hotel staff stood by me to wait if I need anything. He bustled around, picking up dirt from the ground. He thought, this woman must be freaky and needs her fallen leaves picked up. Haha. I asked him to select the cleanest lounger and move it to where I was. Not in the shade but not in direct sunlight either.

One more hotel staff checked the pool, then checked the outdoor showers. When they’re done, they finally left me alone.

Being alone is frightening. Well I’ve stopped thinking about the Jim Carrey movie “The Number 23” since most of the formulas I’ve tinkered on did not really result to the number 23. But when I’m alone, I think about work. And that’s the scariest of all.

So I ate my fruits like I was on the deck of my own yacht and I stretched on the white, [and note, clean] lounger and put on my iPod. Oh the girls have played and replayed Jennifer Lopez much so that she would be now conferred the award for the Most Requested Artist. I reset the music list and chose solo guitars instead.

One thing about being a mom is that your ear is in your music while your whole self is watching your girls. They’re playing a drama game of sorts in the water. How that could be made possible, I think I respect them for that. They left the water just long enough to gobble up the sandwiches and drink the chocolate. Then the game was on again.

Nika and Gela earned this swimming date with me. The past week was their quarterly exams and the last five days were nothing short of grueling for all of us. Studying, reviewing, creating practice questionnaires, learning Filipino, getting through the pointers with sleepy eyes. Now they can shriek all they wanted.

I sent a couple of messages from the mobile phones and then I closed them. Both my personal line and the office line. Liberty!

My back has been acting up these days. And with the activities that the office has suddenly found itself in, I have been losing sleep. That kind where your body is tired and your brain is working. That's the hardest of all I guess. And then to realize that if indeed I'll get a bad case with my back, the office has not the resources nor the sympathy to take care of me.

Anyway, I was under the sun and it's my weekend. I've never seen the sky like that for a long time. It was as if the steady blues and the flimsy whites were racing with each other on which would occupy the most space in the great sky. Only a very faint breeze moved the leaves of the palm trees.

I just wish that I'm gonna take my own thin lovely cloud and pin it up on another blue canvas. And I hope it will be soon. But for the morning I was content to lie down there, close my eyes, listen to the girls giggling in the distance, the guitar on my ear, and be assured that I'm okay. We've generously splashed on the sunblock, right?

Photo: my camera, view from down here