sometimes, not often enough

-- i take some powdered milk and mix it with sugar in a shallow bowl--
then with a spoon i eat it inside the tv room--
and i play an old favorite from our movie collection--

-- i feel bad when i go to bed without being kissed goodnight
by nika, gela or mike--
then i remember we can kiss on the morrow--

-- i amazingly get friendly with all my contacts in facebook who were randomly befriended because of the online games i play--
these funny smart witty people from all over the world i haven't met-- yet--

-- i dance in our bedroom in the only way i can--
knowing that no one is watching--

-- i wonder at the tapestry of love that connected everyone together and brought me here today--
nicolasa and hilario sr. who had hilario jr.--
lucio and irenea who had presentacion--
then hilario jr. and presentacion had me--
i was born because of that loving thread and i am happy to stretch it out some more--
joining mike's own and both of us weaving our new masterpiece--

-- we reflect upon the good things--
and those thoughts always center around those we love--
and i think about those people who mean so much to me--
and for so many years have made me so very happy--
and i count the times i have forgotten to say thank you--
and just how much i love them--

once upon this birthday

Photo of this photographer courtesy of Mike Mendoza

if only. i could have.

If only I didn't forget my password, I could have updated this blog a long time ago.

If only this blogger didn't establish a convoluted system to update interfaces, I swear could have really updated this blog a long time ago.

If only I didn't get busy up to here with other things, I could have sat down and organized my thoughts and experiences into an entry.

Had it not been for Rafael, a classmate from way back in kindergarten, who reminded me about his reading online to be able to stay informed about acquaintances, I actually would still be staying away.

But I am back! And I think that's good.

writing off the year

regrets of the past three hundred sixty-five days

make way to resolutions for the coming year

start the clock

put on the show

a few breakthroughs

captured in paper

Photo courtesy of Mike Mendoza

a mantangale birthday

Mantangale Alibuag Dive Resort

Balingoan, Misamis Oriental
August 21-22 2010

a morning

One of these days, if I have the luxury for it, I shall go and photograph people going about their life on a regular day. I wonder, if there's a giant invisible camera out there, what point in my morning would it capture:

Hear the incorrectly-set alarm go off. Kick the sheets because the alarm went off. Attempt going back to sleep. Sleep walk to the family room. Cross to the girls' bedroom and caress their hair and faces. Check my accounts in Flickr, Twitter, Blogspot, Geni and Facebook. Prepare a photo for posting in Flickr. Check my Inbox in Yahoo and Hotmail. Peek at Gmail. Play the GAMES! Try to move the red little weights. Disregard the dumbbells. Go back to bed. Stand up since can't sleep. Go to the garden. Say hi to Coal, the black Lab. Visit the vegetable patch. Convince the vegetables to grow well. Supervise the breakfast menu. Think of new little house projects to give to the carpenter. Turn on the control for hot water. Check the wardrobe. Realize there is nothing to wear! Drive away the girls from the television room. Ready the hamper of soiled clothes. Convince Nika and Gela to go to the table. Call Mike three times. Eat breakfast. Mix my Ovaltine drink. Try to forget taking my vitamins. Take my vitamins. Prepare for office. Drive to work. Start the day of a regular girl.

And I remember. Nobody ever wanted to be called regular.

the early mornings

The idea came from Mike. He wants to avoid crowds of the "gathered faithful" on Sundays. And he wants to avoid priests with bad homilies who run a speech like a political rally.

But I laid down the rule that our family must get to church once a week. So as if inspired by an original intervention, he woke us up early one Saturday morning and we attended the Holy Mass in the Xavier University Chapel.

And thus began our very own family tradition. We all loved it. I love the idea of waking up and really seeing the morning and starting it with the family walking together to the chapel. The girls are also excited because Saturday mornings after the Mass mean a breakfast in any of the restaurants or hotels around the city that are awake to offer a meal.

And Mike gets his solemn Mass celebrated with a handful of people in a familiar chapel, in the campus of his boyhood, a priest who is from the not so young breed of beating-around-the-bush orators and also from the not so old breed of holier than thou clerics, and a quick straight-to-its-business liturgy since there are no out-of-tune choirs that disrupt the prayers with their songs.

Oh I've stopped being righteous about the reasons of the family and I've stopped being defensive about not really attending the Sunday Mass - but the schedule works for us - it brings us together - the time and the place give us the needed experience of the sacred and the holy - and we've actually looked forward to doing it every Saturday. I think those simple considerations matter most to me.

And I've started working on a little project to celebrate our Saturdays - with the permission of Fr. Nil Guillemette, the Jesuit presider of these Eucharistic celebrations, I am posting his homily reflections in a simple blog -

The Early Mornings

as a token of my appreciation and my own way of celebration of what it all means to me.


http://theearlymornings.blogspot.com/

world of fun

Three weekends ago, Gela went on her first malling expedition with friends from school, so I dragged Nika and myself along with her.

There were more than a dozen girls in the group, of varying ages. It was the birthday of one of the younger girls, and they have created this new party of sorts by just hanging around the mall for hours and doing the cool mall things. Gela and Nika were ecstatic with this new development.

We started by waiting. There must be a proponent somewhere who will pass a motion that all girls around the world be enjoined to be patient with each other especially when one is ahead and the other is late in arriving at a designated meeting place. I want to discuss that one first though.

So we had pizza and pasta. It seemed like my daughters were skimming over that lunch, as everyone's heart were pounding for the main agenda of this adventure inside an air-conditioned mall.

Everyone was really holding her breath for this - the World of Fun. The end wing on the second floor of the mall filled with whizzing sounds and frenzied children. We needed to buy tokens. And armed with the tokens - we hit the games! The girls suddenly had this dazed passionate looks on their faces and and almost trembled while running to the game booths.

Then I started using my tokens and my own fun began. It was a feast that I cannot tell which to play and where to begin. And judging from my few tokens at hand, I knew I must choose the games where I would not end up like a fool.

But blimey! Gela clamped out two stuffed things I cannot name from Toy Story. We cannot understand the mechanics of King's Castle. An old man was hogging the SlamaWinner. And there was Jungle Jive and Dreamy Falls and Pirate's Gold and Sharp Shooter. I even saw an acquaintance sitting down over at a betting table. She said she was waiting for her son.

The objective of the place was for players to collect tickets from all the game booths. And later exchange those tickets for toys and cool stuff and what not's in the Prizes counter. But my aim was to have fun. And to be in a place where it's acceptable to scream.

I followed Nika to the Mini Basketball booth. There was a swirling goal and you have to shoot balls. You get a ticket for each ball going down the ring. But I also gave a whoop each time I would make a hoop! This made Nika irritated. And to my dismay, she spanked me in the hand for a few times and quite frankly told me to go away farther from her. The mom is embarrassing the child.

That was not nice I guess and it clouded the whole experience for me. So I gave my last tokens to her and I chose to sit down and read a book. In the middle of the world of fun.

But a plan is brewing. I'm gonna go back here. Bring a lot of tokens and play alone. And I will scream all I want. And collect those silly tickets. And claim a sillier prize at the end of the day.

I think that would be my revenge.

But I don't think that would be fun at all.

a wife's life

What the!?!

That is not just a question anymore. It has evolved into a full-pledged expression of its own too. Of surprise and astonishment, anger and rage, surrender and capitulation.

I am not sure if wives know it, but their lives are a big WHAT THE!?!

You pick up after,
wake up before,
carry a name owned by,
make meals for,
sleep fitfully beside,
get glamorous around,
tighten your resolve about,
ride the emotional roller-coaster games with,
pound sense into,
receive endless excuses from,
work really hard to truly see through..

him.

Wives deserve ten stars.

Photo of this wife by Mike Mendoza

garden greens

I think I'm starting to live the life I like.

I get to prepare in early mornings the sandwiches for my girls, I can drive over to my husband's office to bring him a vegetable salad, I am doing a little research work to keep the juices flowing, I have the time to fold the ironed drapes and bed linens and arrange them in the cabinet, I am encouraged to feed my passion for photography, I have WiFi Internet connection at home to stay online for friends, the treadmill is working again, and yes.. I am starting my garden.


And I am recently filled to the brim with this organizing work for the ICT sector of the city. At home. Where should I take a break.. I go out into the yard and take snapshots of my plants. Fab.

Photo by This Girl

a bug's life

Photo by Mike Mendoza

it's a beautiful life!

Photo by Mike Mendoza