fly, mama fely, fly

“The closest bonds we will ever know are the bonds of grief. The deepest community is one of sorrow.” We are sad, yes indeed. But even in this time of sorrow, my family is grateful. And gratitude is a higher tribute than grief.

We are gathered this beautiful morning for Felicitas Tabil Mendoza. Each one of us is here because somehow, in one way or another, she has touched our lives. And to us her family, she was and will always be a beloved wife, mother and grandmother. We are so proud of her being our mother. And we ask ourselves - How did we get so lucky?

Mom's beginnings were modest. It all started 69 years ago, in a small barrio called Macabayao, Misamis Occidental. Born to Crisanta and Marcos Tabil, she was named Felicitas, meaning happiness in Spanish. My mother belonged to a brood of seven children, and she was the second to the youngest.

Mom and her sisters, Aunt Lising and Aunt Baby, were so very close that they were like triplets of different ages. Sharing everything sisters share and loving each other so completely, their bond remained throughout life and it has never been broken, much more now that they have all passed away.

Papa met my mom in her office, where she worked as the pretty and efficient secretary of a person who would later be one of Cagayan de Oro's mayors. On January 7, forty-two years ago, my mom and dad got married. While growing up and now that I am a married man myself, Mama and Papa showed me a kind of love that is unconditional and the eternal type that poets write about and regular folks hope to attain someday. Once my mom had focused on the family business, she was always where Papa is, and it was a relationship of love, work and fun and supporting each other. It was a joint apostolate for the “Let There Be Light” Community and the God the Father Community for them.

What Mom offered to her family and friends is a love so earnest and unending that absolutely nothing could shake its tenacity or endurance. I know that even if Mom didn't like something that we did, it meant nothing compared to how much she loved us. She was the center of our home, and she was a pillar for her relatives and close friends. The power of that love overcame any kind of adversity, thus letting us know we mattered more than everything and anything else.

I can especially remember my sister Magi and I struggling in our early grades, and Mom helped us with constant patience until we understood Math, English, and eventually everything else; I don't know what I would have done without her quiet and graceful intelligence.

Even during my teens and early 20's life, my friends were always welcome in the house and they knew it. My mother would make us snacks and we'd hang out watching TV, playing basketball, or listening to records. Mom's love for us extended to our friends and then eventually to when in-laws came into the family.

Mom always opened that umbrella of love for them; and Papa Jun, Mama Precy, Hans and Helen were never considered anything but part of the family, and it was well reciprocated. Her love for my wife, Heidi was so seamless and Mom loved her as if she was her own daughter. When we had Annika and Angela, Mom was thrilled to become a grandma, and she cherished that role very much and she doted on Nika and Gela and marveled at everything that they did.

Mom had been sickly, but she was completely unafraid, often radiant with happiness, beaming at all the people she loved. At whatever state her heart was in, she used every last bit of her strength so we could be together and be with her just a bit longer.

There is much more I could talk about Mom, but none of it would be enough to capture her amazing zest for life and immense capacity to love. She was struck with thyroid problem that weakened her heart and she was a diabetic. Increasingly weakened by the disease, Mom never let that stop her from loving us, cooking or overseeing meals for our Sunday lunch and dinner, being a part of the planning sessions for our family business, or giving us that smile when we needed it.

We all know how much pain she endured, but we also are buoyed by the spirit of her love and faith in us despite the odds against her. She was there for us whenever we needed to talk, to get a hug, or to just be together. Whenever we had a problem, Magi and I knew Mom would listen and give us the best advice. Now we feel a great void with her gone, but I know she can still be there for us if we shut our eyes and remember that she is with us always.

Mom, I love you and miss you but your smile is burned into my heart and soul. Papa, Magi, Heidi, your grand daughters, Annika Michelle and Angela Marionne and the rest of your family and friends are all so fortunate to have had you in their lives and your impact on us and the strength of your love will never be forgotten.

The last days with Mom in the hospital taught me so many lessons and made me aware of so many things that to the last moment, I know that Mom is ever there, guiding me. And now, I truly believe that my mom is in a better place free from all her pain and struggles. I wish her peace and happiness until we will all meet again one day.

To all of you, our relatives, friends, acquaintances and partners - Thank you all for your comfort and support, we greatly appreciate it. It truly warms our hearts to know we have each other for Mama.

Mama, go with God. Fly, Mom, fly!

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Eulogy for Felicitas T. Mendoza
offered by Al Michael T. Mendoza
March 27 2009, Greenhills Memorial Park
Cagayan de Oro City