not in the cookie-cutter batch

It's another Mother's Day and notwithstanding the many voices preaching it's another commercialized celebration that will only boost sales of flower shops - let it be. My goodness, don't flower shops deserve just a day in a year to be busy and get a 200% margin?

I am a mom now for the past nine years. Admittedly though, I think it's still a long way for me to become a full-pledged one. I fear I do not have what it takes to deliver the full works of motherhood.

I was reminded a week ago that people would define a good mother as one who made sandwiches for the next day's snack boxes, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table, started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning, put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt, secured a loose button, picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger, put the telephone book into the drawer, watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry - all between dinner and the time she washed for the night.

I do not do those things. I am adamant that my daughters pick up their toys and books and return them to the cabinet.

A good mother wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the fieldtrip, pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair, signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope, wrote a quick note for the grocery store, put some water into the dog's dish, put the cat outside, made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on, looked in on each of the kids, turned out their bedside lamps, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, and straightened up the shoe rack - all between washing time and going to bed.

I do not do those things. I insist that my husband make sure that the dog is fed and all the doors are closed, even if it means he leaves his television show or his computer game for 2 precious minutes. And that time I wrote to a teacher, the whole page composition felt like an affidavit and a lecture rolled into one.

So if we go by these old roles set for mothers, then I am so not full time and so not a model. But I hope my intentions are good.

I study, because of my post-graduate classes. There are a number of nights I could only co-coach my daughters, but I hope they saw that education should be valued and mastery of the subject and good grades need dedication.

I write, because in the work that I have, a good 80% of it is spent on composing letters, proposals, counter-proposals, articles, and reports. I may often be facing the screen, but my daughters have learned to queue for the desktop, and have started to create their own essays and stories.

I exercise, because I have dance and gym nights to work out the heart, the muscles and the back. I utterly fear it may be shallow vanity, but the two girls now know what fitness is, and that not gaining the unnecessary weight is a healthy choice you have to be working at.

I raise my voice, because I feel. I do not pass up a chance to indicate that I am mad if my daughters do wrong, and I do not believe in just being friends with them. I am a mom and not only do I have responsibility over them, I yield it with authority too.

And I share. My husband actively takes a portion of the task of parenthood. And because he has more free and flexible time than I do, he was even the official guardian of the girls during their summer school for the past two months. He buys three-fourths of the total comic books that the girls have, and he is the one who brings them to the dentist, because I am just so afraid of blood and all the witchery happening in that specific clinic.

Oh I love being a mom! I am keen of the chance to be a witness and a guide to two smart, loudly opinionated, fast-growing, sweet daughters.

But I am certain that motherhood is just one of the many things I can be. And I am sure I would not opt to be a wretched hapless individual in order to gain the best mother in the land award. I know that the balance of the other roles I choose to play all contribute to my lifelong performance of motherhood.

My husband asked what I want for Mother's Day. My office tote bag is getting frayed in the handles and I knew he was wanting to give me a new one for the occasion. But that is so obvious and so sensible! It's Mother's Day, for crying out loud! It's a day a mom could get what she wants, not what she needs!

I smile, knowing I would make the girls gush and their eyes grow wide. I've picked my pretty expensive Mother's Day gift. I've picked my latest exclusive edition Barbie doll.

Clipart: Grandma's Graphics