it's alright to cry

I never thought I am capable of doing it again. Crying from your stomach.. when your breathing stops and you feel a long pause.. no scream, no sob, no sound.. just a long extended cry from the very depths of where you exist.. desperate, bringing with its nothingness and silence all the pain you feel and you want to throw away.. or think can be blotted out with this one painful cry.

Like when Papa died.

I wish there was no need to discover I am capable of it again.

But today I learned. That I am.